Polygamy – The Canvas and Other Relationships
If I’m honest, it has always been a naïve fantasy of mine to have the strength and stamina of heart to offer myself fully to more than one significant other. Little did I know, I was already trying to manage multiple complex relationships.
The journey into identifying one’s self as an artist, holding onto that construct at all costs, then dropping it in hard weather and scrabbling in the dark for it again, can be a complex setting for a relationship with one’s art.
Through the dissatisfaction of disconnection with one’s self reflected in the work, one begins to hunger for one’s truest self, without whom, all connections are at best a roller coaster moving too slow or too fast.
But let’s add to the mix, the exact same journey happening simultaneously with one’s significant other. Let’s say, He or She reflects back all the parts of our internal world, that we hide away for safe keeping. Let’s say that all relationships, with canvas or human, perpetually push us towards completion and connection. Can it be that commitment to move through the lessons that arise in one relationship, compliment the clarities that become accessible in the other?
I would like to propose that for the sake of simplicity, which is always more manageable, that both relationships, or dare I say, all of one’s relationships, reflect the exact same connection, or disconnection with the same self.
So, if you find yourself juggling journeys, perhaps needing to be different versions of yourself in each, pulled in different directions, committed to both but unable to offer yourself fully to either, dissatisfaction may be a helpful guide. Of course, you may feel forced to abandon one relationship to fully embrace the other. I imagine many a beloved companion has been sacrificed at the altar of creativity to rejuvenate a drive to see, in form, one’s truth again.
But what truth are we leaving behind?
I am not suggesting that freedom and peace of mind cannot be gained by having one lover (canvas or human) and that sometimes one must choose. I’m just saying that its possible that one’s current situation may have already been chosen. If you are torn and cannot decide something, there is truth in that. When we can see that we are gathering a more and more complete experience of ourselves from canvas and human alike, and that these ‘others’ are perhaps an external expression of relationships within, then these relationships can become one and harmonious.
May the pursuit and creative gathering of harmonious truths be carved out of all our interactions. May there be many.