Conception

What precedes conception is always some level of connection.

If I am ever anxious to begin a journey on canvas, I can only push forward towards conception fueled by the source of that anxiety, because what I am connecting to is that source. The offspring of any connection, its resulting expression, seems to always confirm or reflect its underlying story.

This means that the power of creativity depends on the nature of the connection made in the preconception space. I’m not suggesting that there are higher or lower levels of power here, just that the nature of a creation’s resonance is determined by its conception, which is a direct result of the kind of connection made.

If one simply submerges oneself into the emptiness of preconception space, it is likely that unconscious habitual drives will arise. It may be beneficial, for a time, to follow those drives, to connect with those familiar needs. Our connections along the way are landmarks that indicate movement and progress, or the opposite. This is important for us to witness. But it also means that there will eventually come a time when connection demands more of us.

This faze in my own per-conception experiences is confusing. A strong sense of an approaching journey excites me, but not knowing fully how to begin, what to connect with, turns that energy into frustration. I have found that my well-being during this experience is dependent on letting go of the work that wants to come and cultivating a perspective of serving it. As connection demands more and more of me, (not just with my art, but with other people and myself) any attachment to how I think the connection should be, ultimately hinders any new conception or relationship.

I cannot currently prove that 'inspiration', whatever it really is, wants to flow through me. But it is helpful in gaining a perspective from which I can act when inspiration doesn’t flow. It implies that there is something in the way that a new awareness is calling me towards. We could call it here an old connection that no longer serves our progress. With this idea I can eventually face and integrate anything in the way of my naturally inspired flow. That force shines like a light on what IT wants me to connect with. In this way I am guided. In this way, that which is conceived is immaculate.